I needed to write this today to capture all the feelings I am having right now. My initial plan was for my next blog to be a little more generic instead of just talking about me. Well, change of plan- I’m practising flexibility and all that.
After a planned two week admission I am home and actually on the way to the hairdressers – self-care and distraction!
I went through various ups and downs during this admission and overcame several hurdles with the support of others and my own strength.
Right now I am feeling proud, empowered and ready to take on the world. I have put plans in place to handle tougher days and I am not kidding myself – they will come. A long-standing Eating Disorder is not cured after this (and all other treatment I have received so far) but I am starting to feel that I CAN beat this.
I am very excited to return to work tomorrow and be with my wonderful team. It is going to be interesting to balance the new routines I am trying to establish in my workplace but I am determined to make it work.
Yesterday, I got a little scared when taken to the Emergency Department with chest pain. Cardiac issues are a real risk for people with eating disorders. It turned out I have an inflamed oesophagus. This is the toll I have to pay for the behaviours my eating disorder drives me to. I have been well the last few days and I am still in enough pain to learn: I am not invincible.
It was almost like I had to be taught one last lesson before going home. Other times I might have panicked in this situation but I managed to surrender and stick it out. I was relieved to be medically cleared the same day and to return to the clinic I have been treated at.
Today came around and I am home and truly happy. I have met some amazing people and I want to support their recovery in a positive manner and I really hope to be able to make a difference one day. I want to contribute to make treatment more accessible and break down the stigma surrounding Eating Disorders. I have a lot of work to do for myself and then hopefully others but I know you can’t pour from an empty cup.
For now: I am super excited to be at the hairdressers and get pampered for the afternoon.
Look after yourself and dream big!
PS: Got something you’d like to read about? Please reach out! I have also been loving the lovely insta messages. Follow me there if you are curious 🖤